Category: Dating and Relationships
I have a wonderful boyfriend. He's done a lot for me, and has treated me so well. I do have a problem. This boy has so called memory loss. He claims that if he doesn't hear from me within 2 days, he completely forgets me. The first time this happened, it took about 3 hours for him to get his memory back. I feel that he's lying, and I'm tired of having to go through getting his memory back after a few days. He's going on vacation for a week, and he'll forget me all over again. What should I do. Should I say it's over, try to deal with his memory loss? Any advice will be greatly appreciated.
i see your frustration, and by the sounds of things..sounds like he's trying to end it himself (the memory loss thing after 2 days ) seems so unlikely.
i don't see why you should keep going through it, when you can just as easily end it, get to the bottom and find the truth, then find someone a bit more respectible
you should do some investigating without him knowing, cause if he's just saying that to get you to dump him, then he'll try and stop you from getting to the truth. if he actually has a medical condition where he does loos his memory, then you need to think about if you can put up with that. no-one likes having their heart broken, but it'll be worse if you don't do anything and just keep going, only to have some random girl tell you that your bf is her bf as well, and he's been seeing her while he's with you.
Wow I've never heard of this but I am no expert. I personally couldn't deal with something like that be it real or fake. I'm just too damn cool to be forgotten! heheeheh lol Seriously though I think it's your decision to stay with him or not. I could be really wong because as I've said, I don't have a medical degree but it sounds like a really mean joke he could be playing on you.
Hi, does he actually have a medical condition, or is this a quaint way of saying that he is very forgetful?
As a guy, I know that most guys tend to not need as much emotional closeness as women. This results in things like: forgetting your birthday: forgetting that he is supposed to call you, even though he promised he would, gave you a date and time even: forgetting that he made plans with you and not forgetting when he makes plans with his friends...
Then we forget what we forgot in the first place, and we forget what you're upset at, and we ask the dumbest question in the world: "What's wrong babe?"
All these things, we do as guys. I've done them myself. You don't ever grow out of it, you just learn little tricks to help you seem like the best guy in the world, keeping a list of things for example. However, there is a difference between being a typical forgetful guy, who honestly just has a slow man brain, and a jerk that is constantly being careless about your relationship. This is something you will have to look into, as you know what's going on better than anyone else.
Now, I know I came on Zone to do something.... What was it...? Hmmm...
Katie, Ask him some direct questions as well as what Queen Lioness Liz suggested. Ask him if there's a name for this condition. You'll probably learn a great deal by the way he responds. Talk to his friends and family and see what they say if you feel comfortable with them. Like the last post said, it sounds mighty convenient to me.
Good Luck.
Lou
If he's just being a jerk forget him. Some guys don't deserve to have a GF and vice vercer.
Well, actually, after about 3 days, he forgets me completely. He doesn't even remember my name. I'm considering ending it with him, but how do I go about doing that.
Well at the risk of sounding glib, if you really want to ditch him you only have to wait 4 days, then that pretty much takes care of itself.
That's what I may do.
Ooooooh lordy. OK, Katy. Lou and Liz gave you some great advice, if you really want to get to the bottom of things. lol to dusty, but he's right too, if you want to just forget it, if it isnt' worth the trouble. Your choice.
I am getting to the bottom of this. I did some research on memory loss, but I found nothing relating to what I've said above. I'll keep looking, and may even ask some of his friends.
how about you don't do any research. Instead, just wait a week without calling him, if he forgot you, then he forgot you. Honestly, when a guy "forgets" about you that much, he is just trying to break up with you. The thing is, he won't just go ahead and do it, he'll just act like a jerk, more and more until finally, you realize that he doesn't want to be with you, or you end the relationship.
There is nothing to get to the bottom of, just don't call for a bit, if he doesn't call you back, then that certainly tells you something, doesn't it?
the other obvious point is, how much else of your relationship or of his life does he forget? Does he forget other people he talks about? Katie girl, we can try and use logic here. As your boyfriend when you chat to him, does he remember stuff you've done together? You do get memory loss where people forget stuff, but not usually people and names, normally people with memory loss forget to do stuff, most of them don't forget people. Anyway, good luck, but I unfortunately think it's a bit fishy. Maybe tell us a bit more about your relationship or him, I think we need more detail here.
He has other friends who he doesn't forget. He knows songs, things he has done, and things that happened years ago. He also claims that weather can affect his memory.
Weather can effect his memory! I'm sorry but does he think you're stupid! There are conditions where people forget things but it would be everything, like all people he hasn't spoken to in a few days, or how to do things he hasn't done for a few days like cooking, useing certain computer programmes. I'm sorry, he seams to be having you on. Good luck.
He claims to have brain damage. He was in a coma do to head trauma. What seems odd is that he can even remember a girl who has been dead for a couple years. He remembers things that happened when he was little.
This sounds like the Adam Sandler movie that was out a few years ago. I can buy that his long-term memory might not be effected, but there's enough stuff that doesn't add up in short-term. Give it a week, and see if he remembers to call you during or after that time. That should tell you a great deal. Surely, he has compensatory strategies in place like using a diary, planner or something.
Lou
Ok, I'll give it a week.
um, bullshit! okay so he may have his long term memory in tact, but, if he can remember his other friends names, and members of his own family, and things like that, he obviously thinks your stupid enough to fall for it every time. i'm sorry, but this only forgetting who you are and no-one else smells of dirty two timing bf to me. dump him, then see just how fast his memory comes back. if he truly loved you, and wanted to remember who you are, he'd have reminders of you around like pictures, things you gave him, stuff like that. i'm no doctor, but i don't think their is a memory loss condition known that you can only forget one person and remember everyone else.
why not try insulting him, then phone him back in a few days, see if he can remember that! lol
This guy is a friend of mine and i get the same issues with him memory. I agree with what some of the other posters have said. Also I took psychoplogy last semester and the professor talked about memory loss and she didn't mention anything that said the weather could effect memory loss.
I got a call from him, and he remembered me fine. He listens to recordings of me at night, and that helps. I can't dump him, I just can't. He's too wonderful.
Well, he may be legit, but I think you can understand why some of us are skeptical. You might ask yourself though, is he truly wonderful, or is he wonderful because he's your first boyfriend? I have the sense you haven't had many if any boyfriends in the past. I'm not judging, just raising questions. Good luck,
Lou
He's wonderful because he's honest with me, He cares a lot about me, He's someone I can turn to, He understands my feelings and my problems, we have a lot in common. He's my third boyfriend, and the best!
OK, so if he remembers you now, all will be OK. Good luck!
lol! this is wierd! i think that's just a stupid way of breaking up. my ex boyfriend claimed he could predict the future, so i asked him: what will happen in the future, and he said: we're splitting up in three weeks. now how lame is that? he actually broke up with me that same day.
Yeh, That's Lame.
omg I'm sorry for that
Yeah... I am too. That's soooooooo lame Katie, good luck with that.
not sure what to tell you, download87. but if you think he's a wonderful person, you should definetly try and make it work between you, and if it's more than you can take, then you probably should just end it.
Um I know who you're talkingabout and I don't think it's true...lol hope that helps. It's Kyra by the way.
Post tramatic stress disorder, perhaps?